


The Scenic Route

by handsometabbyc



Series: Sleazy Neal [1]
Category: Planes Trains and Automobiles (1987)
Genre: M/M, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 10:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16638446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsometabbyc/pseuds/handsometabbyc
Summary: The events of the movie if Neal were (more) of a garbage person without a family and didn't have his life together





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is...sorta a repost, I deleted it awhile back because I decided I didn't like it...but I changed my mind so it's back.
> 
> thankfully I tend to save stories when I do decide to delete them, so I was able to revise some of the stuff that made me nix it in the first place and just reupload.

* * *

_‘Come to Chicago early’_ Neal thought bitterly as he struggled through the busy New York airport, reflecting on what his buddies from there had said. ‘ _We can celebrate turkey day together.’_

He’d been planning on uprooting from New York to Chicago for a fresh start after the holiday, and frankly he would've been better off sticking to that plan. It was 'the place to be' around thanksgiving, or so they say. Truth be told he’d gotten sick of the whole shebang and he was leaving for a reason, though now he was starting to think it might’ve been better just to lay low instead instead of buying a ticket practically last minute (last minute for a thanksgiving flight anyway.)

But here he was, in a crowding airport waiting for a delayed flight siting across from some fat ass schmuck reading a ratty paperback.

He looked around, nervously fidgeting scanning the walls. “Know if we’re allowed to smoke in here?” He blurted out.

The man looked up with concern and he felt a pang of regret for secretly insulting him. He looked nice, the sort you wanted to have a beer with and talk about your problems. “Beg your pardon?”

Neal mimed smoking a cigarette. “Smoking, do you think it’s allowed? I never know these days.”

“I’d say not.”  The man said, glancing around himself. “Though I’m not sure-”

“Aw, it’s all right, been trying to quit anyway, but every now and again I’ll get a craving I can’t shake.”

“I feel you there, my wife Marie’s been trying to get me to quit.  Given how it’s bad for you and all.”

“It ain’t fair is it? I mean one second it’s fashionable and the next you just learn it was a big ol’ trick and your stuck with the habit.” Neal said, hopping to his feet. “Christ, I’m gonna find a smoking area before I go out of my gourd.”

“Uh...nice talkin’ to you I guess.” Neal called after him.

It turned out the man was on the same flight, a couple rows down from him and talking the ear off of the some business man next to him about his job selling shower curtains or something. _Would hate to be that guy._ He thought, but didn't think he really meant it. Honestly he was feeling a bit out of place and it didn't seem like the end of the world to be able to talk to someone, even if he was a chatter box.

\---

“And that’s all you have, a double?” Neal said, wincing for the sake of his wallet as he talked to a very old sounding woman from the local motel 6. “…You sure you don't have anything smaller? I’m just one guy after all.”

Christ, He was too tired for this. “Fine, I suppose that’ll do.”

He sighed as he hung up the phone. Fantastic, just what he needed, Thanksgiving alone in some crummy city in a crummy room he was paying too much for.

“This is the Braidwood? Yeah, hey Gus, this is Del Griffith.”

Neal looked over at the phone booth next to him, the man who from earlier catching his attention. He seemed like a decent guy, and he couldn’t help but feel bad at the prospect of him being stuck here too, not to mention away from his wife.

Perhaps thats why when he hung up the phone, Neal found himself piping up: “…That’s not a good bet.”

 “What?” Del said, confusedly.

Neal was about to elaborate when a man behind him elbowed him away in attempt to get to the phone.

“Didn’t your momma ever teach you manners?” He snapped at him before walking away walked to a less crowded area, ‘Del’ following close behind him.

“Excuse me for being blunt, I just remember you from when we talked briefly back in New York.”

“Yeah, I remember too. What were you saying about the Braidwood Inn?”

“I had a friend who got robbed while staying there.” Neal continued. “Some hooligan broke into their room while they were sleeping.”

He'd never heard of the Braidwood Inn, let alone whether or not that was true, but it was the first lie that came to mind.

Del laughed dismissively. “Well I know the guy who runs the place, he’s real nice.”

“Oh I’m sure he is, wasn’t saying he was the one who’s doin’ it.” Neal said.

“Not really a lot I can do about it, no doubt every other place is booked by now.” Del said slowly, as if he knew Neal was getting to something.

“Well I managed to get a room at a motel 6, seeing as I hate to see a guy get screwed over I’d be willing to share and split the costs. You might not get your own room but at least you’ll get your own bed.”

“Really?”

“Hey, I tried to get them to downgrade me, but it was all they had.” Neal said with sincerity.

“So you’re just trying to save a couple of bucks.” Del said skeptically, and Neal scoffed. Damn it, this guy caught on quick.

“Look I just figured you were looking forward to going home to your wife, and now you’re gonna be stuck here? I thought ‘hey, at the very least I could warn this guy and save him another grievance’ and yeah I realize how absurd that sounds, but given the circumstance…” He shrugged his shoulders, annoyed. “But so what if I’m trying to save some dough? You wanna stay at your Bravewood Inn, have at it."

He started to storm off but Del quickly stopped him.

"Whoa whoa, lets not be hasty, I didn't say no. I could save some money myself." Del said quickly with a sheepish smile. “Can I get a name though? I think you neglected to introduce yourself.”

“Uh, it’s Neal. Neal Page.” He pointed at Del, shooting him an unsure smile. “Del…Griffin right?”

“Close, it’s Griffith.” He said, chuckling.

\---

“So what about you, what are you coming home to?” Del asked they lugged his steamer trunk to the room. "You got family? Kids?"

"First off: who knows if they have kids or not." Neal said uncomfortably. "You know? I've always been careful but who knows, maybe someone didn't tell me-"

"I'll take that as a no." Del said, quickly interrupting what sounded like the start of a long rant.

“But as far as what I'm coming home to I’m not so much going home as uh…moving on.” Neal said. “Was tired of New York, thought I’d relocate. A buddy of mine put in a good word of for me at this tire and lube place he works at and I’ve got an interview come new Year. He even invited me over for Thanksgiving but well…you know have well that’s working out.”

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the grease monkey type.” Del commented. They set the trunk down with a mighty wump. “I mean, you’re so nice looking. Then again that was before you opened your mouth, so who knows."

Neal smiled uncomfortably. “It’s just a starter job. Keep that mullah flowing in so I can uh…keep lookin’ nice.”

“I didn’t mean to offend-“ Del started, but the other man waved it off.

“It's nothing.”

He said as he got up with some clothes and toiletries, then jerked his thumb towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower…unless you wanted to go in first?”

“Hey, It’s you’re room.” Del said quickly, wincing to himself when he was alone.

\---

Later when they were both in bed and watching TV Neal looked over to the picture on the nightstand between the beds commented: “...She’s pretty.”

“What?” Del said.

“You’re wife. I think you said her name was Marie, right?”

Del laughed, almost guardedly. “…Not entirely sure how I got a gal like her. I always fall apart around woman.”

“Well you’re the type of guy woman want to end up with. Good looking, someone that makes them feel safe...But not threatened, you know?” As an afterthought he added. “…That’s what I hear I mean.”

Del laughed nervously at that. “Right, of course.”

“Just what I hear.” Neal repeated distantly.

 “Look, about what I said before, I wasn’t you weren’t nice-“

“Well, I’m really not.” Neal admited with dismay.

“-I meant decent.”

“Oh? Not decent am I?” He jokingly chided.

“No…more like not a stuck up tight ass.”

Neal had smile at that, shrugging. “Well, I can live with that. I suppose I used to be, but things happen, people change. I know, ‘people don’t change’ but they do, usually for the worse.” He held up his hand to stop whatever protest that might come from Del, who genuinely did seem like a nice enough guy to do that. “…And that’s my own damn fault.”

Christ, he should change the subject.

 “So…what did you say you did for a living, sell shower supplies or something?”

“Shower curtain rings, I’m basically something of a salesman.”

 “You must be one hellva salesman.” Neal said. “I mean, couldn’t they just go to their local Kmart or something and pick a set up?”

“Well, I do offer a variety of colors to match whatever décor the motel may have.” Del said, looking a little proud. “But as my wife always says, I could sell stink to a skunk.”

Neal chuckled at that. “Well you have the face for it, mainly because you don’t. People won’t know what hit ‘em.”

Not knowing how to respond to that, Del asked: “You’re not so bad looking yourself…you ever been married?”

Neal cackled at the thought. "Oh god...almost once, there was this gal name Susan I had this on again, off again thing with, I always assumed we'd make it but it never panned out. Aside from her I've never been good with that sort of thing, I'll be good for five or so months before it goes to hell."

“Jesus, I really don’t miss the dating scene.” Del said with a chuckle. “Glad to be done with it.”

“Well, you’re a lucky guy.”

To Neal’s dismay Del didn’t react with the bashful smile he'd been expecting but a strained parody of it. Shit…

“Though I gotta say, it is fun while it lasts. For instance there’s this gorgeous Italian chick named Gina that I might have a good chance with in Chicago. Met her last time I was there, she gave me her number. ‘Call me if you’re ever back in town.’  She said.” He said in a feminine Italian American accent.

It was a bit of gamble, though he said it partially because he wasn’t too keen on the way he was starting to feel when Del smiled, let alone how disappointed he felt when he did.

But thankfully it elicited a laugh from Del. “You sir are horrible.” He said.

Neal tusked, and not dropping the voice, clasping his hand to an imaginary bosom answered: “Oh, but you know you love it.” He quickly cleared his throat, and said in his normal voice: “…I mean, that what she would say.”

“Yeah, I uh…I got that.” Del said, sounding equally uncomfortable.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hold up.” Neal said as they walked from the motel to a diner, passing a house with a car that had a ‘ _for sale, 600_ ’ sign on the hood. He whistled in appreciation. “…Would you look at that?”

“We’re stuck it the middle of nowhere and you’re fawning over a car?” Del said with amused disbelief.

"Oh, but it's an El Camino." Neal cooed, running his hand along the side of the covered truck bed. "Been wanting one of these babies for ages."

"I don't know, they look so weird, cars should be cars and truck should be trucks."

"Oh come on, don't come at me with that nonsense, it's best of both worlds. Sporty in the front, business in the back."

“For all you know it could be a hunk of junk. Besides…”

“I know, I know, we’re trying to get out of here.” He said, reluctantly stepping back onto the sidewalk taking a final longing look at it before turning his gaze ahead.

“I was going to point out that it’s red, but that too.”

"What the hell is wrong with red?" Neal protested.

"It stands out, your just asking for trouble with a color like that, not to mention it's a ticket magnet."

"I want to stand out." Neal insisted. "Besides, I can always just get it repainted. Maybe a nice midnight blue..."

“So now you’re repainting a car that isn’t yours.” Despite being a criticism he sounded amused.

Neal shrugged, clasping his arms around himself, squinting pleasantly as the morning sun hit his face. “What can I say? Sometimes you gotta dream big. Put it into the universe, you know? Maybe I’ll find another, better car when I get to Chicago. When I have the money for it too.”

“You do make a good point.” Del said, reaching the diner before he did so he held the door open for him, earning a surprised but gracious look from Neal.

\---

“So how did it work out with your guy at the airline?” Neal said, and Del winced a little.

“Not too good.” He said. “If we want to get out of here before thanksgiving it’s not gonna be by plane.”

Neal groaned. “Gotta tell you, not thrilled at that, but even less thrilled at the prospect of staying here much longer either, or you staying here. You’ve got that wife of yours waiting for you after all.”

“Well that nice of you to say Neal, but it wouldn’t be the first Thanksgiving we spent apart.”

“Well don’t say that, now I have to do it.” Neal insisted. Christ, what what he doing? He knew Del’s wife was a touchy subject for him, why did he have to bring her up?

We'll just celebrate it later. Still counts as Thanksgiving even if-“

Neal heard the people a table over mention something about a ‘infernal red Chevy out in my front yard.'

“Shh, hold on.” Neal interjected.

“…I know we lowered the price, but I still think we’re asking too much for it.” The woman one table over berated the man who was sitting with her. “Honestly at this point I just want to get rid of it, have hauled it to the junk yard. At least they’ll give me two hundred for it.”

A mischievous grin slowly spread over Neal’s face, sharing a look with Del.

“I told you, it could be a hunk a junk.” Del hissed at him.

“But it might not be, I can test it out.” Neal protested in a low voice. “And it could be our ticket out of here. I’d honestly prefer driving over a a bus or train.” Neal said.

“...You'd take me along right?” Neal said cautiously.

“Of course, if you chip in a bit.” Neal said before continuing in a normal voice: “I can’t believe my car broke down this close to Thanksgiving.”

Del looked at him skeptically as Neal continued: “…Everything was going to plan too, darn shame.  All those people are going to be so disappointed.” He gestured for Del to talk.

“Well…Pastor… I’m sure God still has a plan to get you there, you just have to be patient.” Del consoled.

Neal’s face twisted up at that, looking at Del with bewilderment as mouthed: _Pastor?!_

Del didn’t have a chance to respond before the people behind them did.

“Excuse me, we couldn’t help but overhearing. You said you needed a car?” The man, presumably a relative of the woman’s, asked.

Before Neal could continue, Del launched into action. “My friend here’s a pastor who was in the middle of coming home to Chicago. He was hoping to get there by Thanksgiving morning in time to do his sermon, but his car broke down.”

“Well, I don’t know if it helps but me and my sister have been trying to sell a car for a couple of months now, maybe we could work something out."

“We’ll I’m sure Neal would-“

“What do you mean by work something out?” Neal interrupted, trying hard not to sound too skeptical.

“We were just talking about hauling it off to the junkyard anyway. Would get about two hundred for that, would be willing to give it up for three hundred.”

“Well if it still runs decent that’d be great.” Neal said.

“Sure, been starting it up once a week once week to make sure, but you can come by to check it out before you decide.”

“Fantastic.” Neal said, before giving Del a dirty look.

“What?” Del said with confusedly. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Pastor? Really?”

“You’re the one who was talking about ‘all the people who depended on you’, what else was I supposed to think that was?” Del protested.

“I don’t know, feeding the homeless or some garbage sentimentalism like that.”

“So I overshot, what’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is I’m nothing close to a pastor, what if they asked to me to do something…pastorial? What if they wanted to donate the car to whatever bullshit church I have?"

“I’m sure it’s going work out fine.” Del said. “Whatever happens, I’ll stick with you alright? I’m not gonna to throw you under the bus.”

“How comforting.” Neal quipped, though sounded a bit more at ease.

\---

“So what do you think?” The woman’s brother asked him as Neal was looking under the hood.

 “Fantastic, I can’t help but wonder why your sister is so keen on selling it at all.” Neal said.

“It was her late husband’s, she has no need for the second car and it just reminded her of him.”

“I’m uh…I’m sorry about that.” Neal said uncomfortably. He glanced at the widow in question, out of earshot talking on the porch with Del.

 “Hey, it’s alright. He was a raging alcoholic.” The brother waved it off. “Between you and me I think she’s glad to be rid of the bastard.”

Neal laughed weakly at that. “I uh…I see.”

“She seems happy enough anyway.” The man said, and Neal looked at here and Del, who was going on about something jovially.

“…Appearances can be deceiving.” he said hollowly, mostly to himself, before shrugging it off. “But you’re probably right.”

Del was coming back just Neal and the woman’s brother were finalizing things, the sister having insisted on him dealing with the paperwork.

“I just realized, you didn’t say what church you were a pastor at.” The man said.

“The Methodist on 34th street in Chicago. But I think they’ll probably move me somewhere else soon. You know how Methodists are, always keen on shuffling their pastors around.”

“Right. Have a safe trip.” The man said.

As he and Del got into the car, and Neal drove it to the motel Del asked: “What was that about? I thought…”

“I remembered knew a pastor in Chicago who owed me a favor, I called him up just in case.”

They sat there for a moment, glancing at the older woman uncomfortably.

“Nice lady.” Del said.

“Yeah…almost makes me feel bad.” Neal replied, sounding conflicted. “You know…”

“Well, it isn’t like we’re stealing, she gave it willingly. And if anything, we could look at it as a temporary loan where we give the rest of the money when we can afford it.” Del offered.

“Yeah, yeah.” Neal quickly agreed as he started up the car and they pulled out.

What kind of pastor would associate with you?” Del asked, and Neal laughed.

“…Got me all figured out don’t you?” He said, and Del flustered at that.

“I meant, I thought from when you said before you weren’t particularly religious…”

“I don’t feel comfortable with perpetrating that sort of figure, least I slip up, but I am a little. Some casual stuff here and there.” Neal said. “But in this case no, this fella like just managed to make it in my circles.”

“So…”

“He isn’t the straightest nail in the box, no.” Neal admitted with a grin.

 


	3. Chapter 3

They managed alright for a good while until one of their tires blew out. Worst of all, there didn't seem to be a spare.

“Damn…” Neal muttered, even rechecking under the hardshell bedcover to find nothing, save a car jack and a handful of other tools, taunting him the dim glow of a half dead flashlight. He angrily slammed the cover back down, giving one of the good tires a kick which he instant regretted, hitting it the wrong way and stubbing his toe. “Son of a bitch!”

“What?” Del called out as he was getting out of the car.

“There isn’t a spare.” He said with dismay. He leaned against the closed tailgate, closing his eyes for a second to think. The cold air bit at his cheeks and felt sharp in his lungs, a contrast to the car which had a heater like a furnace.

It was getting later, not the dead of night but it might as well be where they were. Any small towns that might be nearby would be practically shut down after 5:30, even when it wasn't a holiday, and it was past six now now thanks to some set backs, including lunch and Del wanting to help someone out. They might be able to hitch a ride to town and deal with this the morning…some way, he wasn’t sure how?

…Christ, he just had to have the stupid car didn’t he? And he had to drag Del into it, who at this rate probably would’ve gotten to Chicago by now on his own. But he had to cling to anything that made him feel anything close to okay, like a monkey with his hand stuck in a trap because he just couldn’t let go of a bright piece of candy.

He opened his eyes, a certain stillness in the evening air. Snow had started to fall, a cold sterile backdrop to the bone tiredness he felt that wasn’t entirely to do with this whole ordeal but certainly didn’t help. The silence was interrupted by Del’s footsteps, and the subsequent shift of the Camino as he sat next to him, and despite regretting dragging him in this mess Neal felt a pang of gratitude he was there. There was a warm, comforting presence about the man, something he unfortunately was starting to get attached to.

“Hey, uh…you alright? It’s just a little blow out, we’ll be able to fix it up and be on our way no problem.”

At that Neal broke a little, swatting at tears he didn’t know he was holding back, gritting his teeth in some futile attempt to hold it in. When that failed he leaned forward, face in his hands he tried to pull himself together.

“…I’ll take that as a no.” Del said uncomfortably, taking out a Kleenex from the pack in his jacket pocket. “You uh, you’re sorta dripping…”

“Fuck, why do you have to be so god damn nice?” Neal snapped through snot and tears, taking the tissue and blowing his nose. “Was fucking holding it together but you had to come along and…fuck it all up.”

“I don’t know if you really were doing all that good to begin with pal.” Dal said wrapping an arm around his shoulder, which again he was...a little too comforted by it for his liking, but decided not to think too hard about that for the moment.

Neal honest didn’t know whether either of them meant just right now or this entire ordeal when they said that, and the ambiguity struck him as oddly funny and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m just tired. Just feel like I’ve been on…the verge of fucking losing it for a while now.” He said when he'd reached some kind of composure. “Christ I really should have just stayed in New York a week longer or something and avoided all this. You probably would’ve been better off.”

 “I don’t know, if you hadn’t I wouldn’t have gotten to meet your sorry ass.”

Neal looked at him with a pained smile, eyes red as he tusked helplessly. “You’re full of it.” He managed, though he said it with a kind of fondness.

Del was about to respond but before he could answer a car slowed down, driver peering out at them with concern, and it struck Neal how ridiculous they must look to other people.

“You folks alright?” He asked.

“Hold on, I’ll deal with this. Just stay there and keep looking miserable.” Del said to Neal, squeezing his shoulder before slipping away.

“Seriously?” Neal said, getting a sense of Del’s intentions.

“Just hold on alright?” Del said louder as he walked to the car, briefly turning to Neal and winking. Christ, he was so nice, Neal thought as he fought the urge to smile, how was he able to turn around and shamelessly run a con on someone?

It turned out the man in the car had a spare similar to the El Camino's, which he offered to them for a hundred bucks, but Del managed to negotiate it to fifty bucks and a set of shower curtain rings. Not to mention whatever story Del had told the man. which, despite Neal’s insistence, he wouldn’t tell him.

“Come on, spill it.” Neal said as they piled back into the car, turning on the heater and taking a moment to revel in it.

“If I told you that’d ruin the mystery.” Del said.

“Just tell me if it’s embarrassing at least.” Neal insisted.

“It wasn’t, besides: you’re never going to see him again.”

“I suppose that’s fair, it’s not like I haven’t done worse to myself.” He sighed, staring at the road ahead. Snow still fell, briefly illuminated by the headlights before disappearing, the road ahead cold and empty. “…we probably could make Chicago before midnight if we kept driving.”

Del shrugged a bit, repeating: “We could…but honestly I wouldn’t mind finding a motel and hibernating for the night.”

“I could stand a little hibernating.” Neal agreed with a shrug.

\---

 Before they holed up for the night though they came across a bar with a great sign atop it promising 'FOOD', and although Neal was doubtful about the place Del insisted.

"Okay, but I'll just have a beer." He insisted peering around the dimly lounge

"Don't tell me you aren't starving." He said.

"I'd rather starve then puke my guts out." Neal countered. "Like I was saying before, I'm a little picky about what I eat."

"Come on, you need to eat, and they have cheeseburgers. I'll get one too and if it makes you sick it'll make me sick too."

Neal cracked up a bit a that. "Weirdly reassuring, fine." He relented.

After that they checked into a nearby motel accidentally getting a room with one king sized bed, but it was freezing out and both of them were in good spirits so neither cared enough to march back to the office to correct it.

So they situated themselves on either end of the bed with some 'travel sized' bottles of booze Del had accumulated and a case of chocolate liquors between them Neal brought for his friends in Chicago but now seemed like a more appropriate occasion for it.

"Woo, these have a bit of a kick to them." Del said. "Kinda surprising."

"I always look for the ones with the highest potency and...cheapest price." Neal said with a little wink, siting on the end of the bed closest to the television, which both of them were ignoring as it droned on. Del chuckled.

"I was wondering why they tasted kinda crappy, no offense."

"Hey, everyone would be drunk anyway, they wouldn't notice it was garbage."

“So why are you really headed to Chicago?” Del asked."You must have a reason, other then 'you just felt like it'."

“I liked Chicago Neal. He made better money, had a better love life, not to mention his hair was actually still brown.”

“I don’t know if you can un-ring that bell…unless you dye it I suppose?”

Neal shook his head in in strong disagreement, sucking a bit of syrup off his thumb. “Tried, could never keep up with it.”

“Well it doesn’t look bad, for what it’s worth. Like a wolf, it goes along with that particular look you get on your face when you get pissed off.”

“I’ve heard that one before.” Neal agreed with amusement. “Not that I mind hearing it again."

“What about uh…Gina or whatever her name is, won’t she be surprised to see you like that?”

 “We met last time I was in Chicago a few months ago.” Neal said. “I think that why I’m coming back, not because of her I mean, that’s just a bit of fun, but that visit. It reminded how much better things used to be…but I suppose I shouldn’t go back and expect things to be how they used to be.”

"It's never to late to change, or so I hear." Del replied.

There was an uncomfortable air between them so Neal cleared his throat, picking up the chocolates and gestured with it. “You done?”

“If I have any more I’ll get heart burn.” He said, as Neal closed it carefully, setting it in his open bag, prompting a smile from Del.

“…You’re a bit of a neat freak aren’t you?”

“Like I said, I used to be a stuck up tight ass. Mom was a stickler about it and it stuck with me, old habits die hard I guess.” Neal replied sheepishly as he sat back down on the bed.

"I bet the ladies love it." Del said, and Neal smirked."...I get hell sometimes for being a slob."

"I can get weird about it sometimes and that gets old fast." He admitted begrudgingly, sitting next to Del.

"You just can't win I guess." Del said softly with a nervous chuckle, before looking agitatedly away. "I uh..."

"What?" Neal said, worry creasing his face.

 "Well, its just..." But Neal didn't let him finish. Perhaps he saw a kind of longing on his face he recognized in himself, and in his tired and slightly drunk state he leaned forward to kiss him because of that. It was uneven and nervous but...god help him...undoubtedly wonderful.

He broke away, studying Del's shocked face with concern. He was about to speak, to apologize or sweep this under the rug, but the bastard drew him back in before he could get it out, kissing long and deeply as if to say _I want this, I want you,_ he big arms wrapping around him sending a thrill though him that both terrified and excited him.

Eventually Del did pulled away though, this time looking little sick, or perhaps overwhelmed, Neal couldn't quite tell which. "Don't know what came over me, I really shouldn't..."

His voice was soft and heart breaking, prompting Neal to quickly retreat. "It's alright, it's been a long couple of days."

"I mean, your a handsome guy, but even if I wasn't, you know, married-"

"Really Del, Its alright." Neal with stiff embarrassment.

They each busied themselves with little things after that before finally settling down to sleep. As they lay in the dark Del went through his usual before bed fidgeting, Neal couldn’t help but smile himself, before his face fell in realization.

 _Shit, he really did have it bad for the bastard didn’t he?_ He thought in dread as he turned over, facing away from Del.

But really he already knew that, he just didn't like to think about it too hard. Especially not after what just happen.

As he fretted to himself he felt the bed sift and Del wrap himself around him. Neal waited for him to give an explanation.

When he didn't he decided to speak up. "...Del?"

Del answered with a tired grunt into his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

“Keepin' you still…I'm not gonna get any sleep if you keep shifting around like you were.” He said matter of factly, before adding in a more somber tone: "...Been a long couple of days." as if it settled the matter.

And he supposed it did, because Neal let himself go slack, feeling strangely safe. Even if they hadn't admitted it they seem to have formed some kind of unity where they could watch each other’s back, two people adrift that had found some kind of temporary stability.

He’d sometimes felt a little more at ease with men admittedly, as if he felt like he could take it down a notch when he was with them. He enjoyed the feeling of taking care of a woman, being the great provider and protector he felt was expected of him, but sometimes wouldn’t mind someone else taking the reins every once in a while.

Not that he tried to think about that fact too hard, he’d learned to appreciate it for what it was: fleeting beauty. As this new age gal he’d dated once put it when she’d broken up with him, it was like a sand medulla: destined to be swept away.  A beauty in the temporary, something to force you to appreciate life before it blew away in the morning wind.

He honestly thought that was bullshit, but it helped to pretend he supposed, and more importantly put the subject aside and sleep.  

\---

They didn’t acknowledge it the next morning. Which was to be expected, but Neal had hoped something would happen aside from the usual forced small talk intermittent with awkwardness until they managed to get back into a place of comfortable ignorance. And they did, and it was nice. So much so the trip ended up ending much sooner then he’d hoped.

“Well good luck, with everything I mean.” Del asked.

“Same to you.” Neal said with a small grin. “…I’d like to say it’s been an ordeal, but you defiantly made it less of one.”

“I’d be inclined to say the same.” Del replied, a heaviness in the air between them.

Neal nodded uncomfortably, clearing his throat before saying, “I’ll see you.” Before striding off.

He managed to get out the door and in the El Camino, hands clenching and unclenching the steering wheel. It would be so easy to just go, he thought. So god damn easy.

He growled in irritation, getting back out of the car, walking back across the parking lot the station, collecting himself before pushing through the doors of the station.

Del was sitting in the one of the station benches, coat off and looking remarkably small for a man of his size. Without a word Neal sat himself next to him, eventually speaking.

“So uh…what happened to her? Your wife I mean.”

Del looked at him with a perplexed expression, and Neal smiled and shrugged helplessly.

“Doesn’t take a genius to figure out something happened.”

Del silently struggled with his words before speaking. “She died about eight years ago.” He said. “Cancer. We caught it late so she didn’t suffer too long, but still...”

“Shit Del that’s uh…worse than I thought.” Neal managed.

“How long have you known?”

“…I figured out it was something pretty early on.” He said, before weakly joking: “Can’t bullshit a bullshitter.”

“But you didn’t say anything.” Del criticized.

Neal tusked helplessly. “I don’t know… I’d like to say I did it out of consideration, but at a certain point it was for me. I could pretend this wasn’t…I don’t know, whatever this is. That you’d just go on with your life and me with mine.  Like I said…I’ve never been good with this sort of thing.”

“That’s rather presumptuous of you to say to say this is 'that sort of thing'.” Del said over defensively, looking flustered.

“Look, I don’t know, and I’m not saying how you feel.”

“Well it’s pretty clear how you feel.” Del pointed out and Neal threw up his hands in frustration.

“Okay, yeah maybe it is. You’re an attractive and sweet guy, and I’m only human. But at the end of the day I’d be happy simply being friends. All I’m saying is I don’t want you to spend Thanksgiving alone and I don’t want to spend it without you.”

He took a moment to simmer down, before speaking again. “…That bright red ticket magnet of mine is out there in the parking lot, and we can get back in it and go anywhere you want in the city. Maybe even go to that party if you want. I'm sure my buddies wont mind."

Neal sighed, begrudgingly adding: “…Or you can tell me to fuck off. The choice is yours.”

“No!” Del objected quickly. “I mean…that sounds nice. The other stuff that didn’t involve me telling you to fuck off.”

Neal laughed in relief, “Scared me there for a second.”

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that to get rid of me.” Del reassured him jokingly. "And as far as that other thing is concerned, I'm not saying i couldn't, or that I don't get how you feel...i just need a little time alright?"

"Like said, it's cool." Neal said, though smiled to himself a little at that.

They didn’t get up right away, and as they sat in silence Del put an arm around Neal and Neal leaned against him, sighing tiredly.

“Happy Thanksgiving Del.” He said.

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too Neal.” Del answered.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! if you liked it, I always appreciate kudos.


End file.
